#whoops ive talked too much in the tags lol. way to much.

[autism-corner]

i ordered some pronoun pins from an etsy shop and they arrived fine and well.... except for a the fact that a month later the same exact pins were delivered to me. again. so ive gotten twice the pins :(

[wavesmp3]

tagged by @tidalstorm tbh i’m not sure i did this right but it was still fun to do tagging @kyeomshine @secndlife @vernosaur @queenoats (choco lets ignore the fact that we’re technically not mutuals on this blog ssdnvks but i thought this tag game was cute and thought of u lol)

(soft!)

baby pink | iridescent | glitter is always a good option | no bra | minimalistic tattoos | cherry patterns | sweet scented perfumes | wearing generous amounts of blush | doodling hearts | getting excited to pet an animal | fun nails | rewatching old barbie movies | hair sticking to glossed lips | heart shaped sunglasses | taking pictures of the sunset or sunrise | stuffed animals | protecting nature | stickers everywhere | teen movies | the light rain that falls from a clear sky at the beginning of the night |

(dark academia!)

neutral tones | masculine outfits | studying languages | worn down copy of books | grey skies | turtleneck sweaters | loose fitting pants | hair tied with a silk ribbon | trying to remember a cool difficult word you read somewhere to use in a convo | thick belts | minimal makeup | windows fogged by rain | vintage jewelry | blouses with cuffed sleeves | reading a murder mystery and trying to solve it | oxford style shoes | sweater vests | subtitled old movies in a language you don’t speak | leaves crackling as you walk | annotating books to express your emotions about the story |

(edgy!)

closet full of dark clothes | fishnet tights | makeup sweating off | neon signs | searching for unknown songs | chokers | band tees | doodling on old converses | finding smoking aesthetically pleasing but not doing it | weird humor | accidentally very dramatic | dim lights | layered outfits | chain belts | chipped nail polish | messy hair | low quality pics | piercings | combat boots | scribbling on desks |

(seventies!)

colourful wardrobe | doodling flowers | wearing short shorts | using a bikini top or bra as a normal top | listening to ABBA | flowers in your hair | DIYing everything | jamming to songs alone in your room | drunkenly telling your friends you love them | patterned bandanas | mid heeled shoes | messy braids | flared sleeves | walking barefoot on grass or sand | bold sunglasses | the good kind of tired you get after doing something you enjoy for hours | feeding stray animals | fun patterned socks | room decorated with succulents and other plants | likes to go roller skating or skateboarding |

(preppy casual!)

collared clothes | drinking juice out of a champagne glass | getting excited to see the met gala looks | thick headbands | small pastel cardigans | making your friends take your ootd pics | plaid mini skirts | tweed two pieces | watching reality tv to pass time | frilly tops | watching old hollywood movies | academically driven | long manicured nails | new year’s eve fireworks | colorful tights | layered golden jewelry | yearns for luxury brand items | decorating your room with fairy-lights | cursive and neat handwriting | lace details

(tidalstorm!)

fashion!baby | the perpetual but adolescent itch of rebelling | jawline | perfectionist | impulsive hair colouring | weird handwriting | the sound of crashing waves and an acute smell of sea salt at night | cramming | fast learner | rumbling thunder in the distance, rain plopping down against cobblestones | inner child, frequently nostalgic | good singer. | spicy food enthusiast. | chokers + dainty neckpieces | multiple piercings | messy, not at all a planner, big fan of spontaneity | anger that you sense budding under your fingertips, buzzing up to the cavity of your heart. | the feeling of wind hitting your face with the car roof pulled down. | cuddly. | paying attention to details + colour. | little spoon. | astrology! | a cycle of reading relentlessly + not reading for 7 months straight. | has to win at all games. | art enthusiast | looks androgynous. | silent strangers listening absently to the train skidding against its tracks | music pouring out of your ear buds, a cold hand buried inside your trench coat while you find yourself thinking about something you long for. | laughing until your belly aches. | dark nails. | sleeping with your glasses on. | introverted. | taciturn. | having long conversations with children. | chubby animals

(wavesmp3!)

summer storms | coffee in the mornings | tea in the afternoons | a silence enthusiast | enjoys being alone | getting books but never reading them | dissolving to music | sticking heads out of a sunroof | sitting on the beach but never getting in the water | watching the same three sitcoms | dancing in front of a mirror | blasting music while driving | uses peace signs constantly | ‘ahaha’ | always using a blanket | constantly writing in my head | raging sweet tooth | coca-cola lover | funniest person i know | can not fathom being in love | doesn’t believe in the concept of one best friend | verified hoe for april ludgate | dancer | always having an eyelash in your eye | yearning for the sea | downplays intelligence | craves admiration and praise | a secure person | no makeup | never wears jewelry but loves it | hoodies | thinks forehead kisses are the purest form of intimacy but hates physical contact | ripped jeans | scrunchies | good student | teachers pet | lazy | 🤪 emoji’s number one user | and s’mores pop tarts.

[mokutone]

tags from @kakashihasibs on this post

#ive been thinking about this post all afternoon and evening and night lol #i dont think we see yamato outwardly express anger ever (at least in the episodes we see) #like the closets he gets is when he's annoyed at naruto and even then that seems more playful or frustrated than properly angry #even when he is yelling at Bee and Naruto he doesn't seem ACTUALLY angry #but like how could he not be angry? #like everything that's happened to him? to people he loves? it's gotta be in there #you can't face the evils he's faced and not come out the other end at least a little angry #yam is too nice for his own good #sometimes #I think the biggest reason he represses his anger so thoroughly is bc i think a part of root is specifically repressing 'negative' emotions #i feel like i can remember a line from danzō about how emotions can lead to hate #but also focusing so much on the 'negative' emotions might be to keep root agents from turning that anger and resentment towards #Danzō and root itself #like another way of keeping kids in line is teaching them anger (especially justified anger) is a dangerous emotion #and with the extra focus on that perhaps that still something yamato isn't able to express properly #but also yam cares a good deal for naruto and probably for Bee too #he might not WANT to be angry at them #maybe he keeps it repressed so he doesnt lash out at someone he loves? #hmmmmmmmmm #i love him #someone needs to needle him until he snaps #get that anger out my guy #at least in the episodes that I'VE** seen #i did not mean to say we #whoops

enthusiastically points at these tags. enthusiastically points at these tags. enthusiastically points at these t-

im going to chatter abt them below the cut specifically i think about. why he might be afraid of allowing himself to be angry + im gonna talk a lil bit about danzō + root's role in all this i think.

image descriptions for all images are in alt text

SO!!!! YEAH!!!!! YEAH EXACTLY...

these tags are so very right...we do see him get frustrated, or have that knee jerk kind of "no!!! you're horrible!!!" reaction at Naruto + Killer Bee when they scare him shitless, but ur right...that's not a serious anger that's a "You scared me!!! don't do that I was worried!!!!" and annoyance at most. frustration. it comes and it passes easily...

alas that kakashi is VERY good at needling him (admittedly in a friendly and affirming way), but yamato probably would want to be mad at kakashi least of all!

i think you're right that he probably doesn't want to lash out at the people he loves, or risk hurting them especially with an emotion he doesn't or won't let himself understand well

but also. i think he might feel a lot of guilt tied up in his anger as well...so it's not just an "I don't want to hurt the people I care about" thing, but also kind of a,

"What right do I have to be this mad?" "Do I feel I'm deserving of better treatment? Better circumstances? I am and have been incredibly lucky. What a selfish thought."

type of deal. which is. ough.

LIKE. the way he might see it...he was the Only one of the 60 mokuton kids in the lab to survive (how lucky)

and then when he did survive danzō was like. "if things had gone even slightly differently, your life would've only been that of an experiment, but he lost interest in you, and I picked you up." (how lucky)

and then, amongst all the Root shinobi, danzō, the leader of root, decides to train him personally, indicating a particular favoritism or attention towards him (how lucky 🤮)

this one particularly i want to point at.

because if Danzō singles Kinoe out as a favorite, all of these other Root shinobi, especially the other kids who are completely emotionally neglected...would likely feel jealous of the attention and favor that Kinoe receives, perhaps especially because he's young, perhaps especially if he is not the strongest (what has he done to deserve such special attention? etc etc)—which would isolate Kinoe even within the already isolating experience of being in Root.

its technically a position of privilege, but the privileged is of being the closest in proximity to the worst man in Konoha, instead of waiting to the side, trying to draw his attention and approval. And the "benefits" might include the jealousy and judgmental eye of Kinoe's fellow agents.

(no wonder he latched onto Kakashi so fast, if that was the situation. Kakashi has his own problems with Being Nice and everything, but if Kinoe is hearing "you aren't worthy of the abuse you're receiving" the fact that Kakashi thinks that Tenzō is not just worthy of sparing but. worthy of rescuing. even when Kakashi's recovering from Kinoe's attempt on his life. is. well. How could he even begin to process that?)

but ah. but still...when Tenzō departs Root for the final time, he thanks Danzō for everything he's done for (to) him.

(And, in the Tsukkuyomi, Yamato expresses a want to take over team Kakashi, and then an immediate guilt and horror at his own selfishness, for wanting the spot which Kakashi occupies, when he had a position at Anbu he was supposed to return to. Who is he, to want something like that? Who is he, to want what Kakashi has?)

Does he understand that he doesn't have to be grateful all the time, for everything, for the slightest scraps? I worry so much! Does he know that he doesn't have to thank people for not having been worse to him? Yamato, you're allowed to ask for more! You're allowed to want things!

I think that working alongside Sai has to be both extremely good and fairly painful for him in this regard. I'm sure Yamato could find a way to forgive or excuse Danzō's actions towards himself—especially if he thinks he was in some way lucky to have that situation.

But Sai? Sai is a different person. Sai isn't him, doesn't have his baggage—maybe he can see in Sai, what he cannot in himself! A kid who didn't deserve any of that, and is struggling in the aftermath. I like to think that, even if Yamato could forgive Danzō at the time for how he was treated, he could not ever forgive Danzō for how Sai has been treated.

I think he gives Sai a lot of leeway in expressing himself and picking fights with his teammates that he might not if he wasn't aware of Sai's situation, because I think he knows how important it is to let Sai uhhhh. hm. To let sai be completely fucking unhinged, for a bit. A line has to be drawn sometimes, but.

Yamato voice: I think he should be allowed to be a little malevolent. As a treat. Get it out of his system.

anyway. god. this reminded me of a comic i'd started Literally About This Concept that I absolutely forgot I was trying to work on

[wearethewinx]

fate episode 6 spoilers below

admittedly that opening shot slaps. like that immediately makes me curious

bloom why are you looking. everywhere but at the glowing pillar in front of you

LOL WHOOPS

AISHA ARE U FOR FUCKING REAL. WRITERS ARE U FOR FUCKING REAL. THIS IS NOT MY GIRL

lol dowling thats what happens when u liiieeeeee

jfdlsfjlds terras dad being so stumped by her completely correct rebuttal that he just says 'you need to cool down'

'sorry you have to be visible to have a point of view' that line really made it into the script huh

theyre REALLY gonna make aishas first and only autonomous act in this entire show be to snitch on her friends

oh so there are witches huh. is that how were doing this huh. oh my god this is so unnecessarily complicated and confusing? this is. ridiculous? why wouldnt anyone else know about the witches? how does them being witches give rosalind the right to murder them all? HOW IS BLOOM OK WITH THIS LADY JUST SAYING 'yeah i lied and killed them all because only fairies are allowed to do magic' HWAT THE FUCK

*sky voice* i am literally so fucking stupid and boring its unreal

lol even sam is like 'terra shut up'

see i dont wanna be so mean to terra but shes explicitly written to be as annoying as humanly possible? people keep telling her theyre not interested and she just mows right over them completely not caring EVERY time

oh bloom is growing a braincell now huh

'only vanessa and michael could give you love' YOU CALL THAT LOVE? YOU CALL THAT SHIT LOVE? WHERE ARE THE WRITERS ILL FUCKING KILL THEM

me, every time: weve gotta be getting close to the end now right weve been here at least forty minutes

the timestamp, every time: 21:30

HOW is it possible for a show to drag this much? six hours feels like 18

nobody told the caption writer that rivens name is riven not 'riv'

stella being like 'WE shouldve never gotten back together WE are codependent and toxic' gurl,,,,,,,, You

rly have to stress that bloom listened to rosalind talk and was like 'oh genocide? well thats totally understandable, i trust you implicitly. here i was thinking you were just a regular mass murderer!'

WHY ARE THERE NO MAGIC PAINKILLERS. WHY IS THE ONLY WAY TO EASE SOMEONES PAIN FOR MUSA SPECIFICALLY TO TAKE IT ON

ALSO TERRA FUCK. YOU. FOR EVEN THINKING THAT, MUCH LESS SAYING IT OUT LOUD

how does the solarian royal family have a magic teleportation ring but they cant move troops across their country in less than 2 days

*bloom voice* come on sluts im gonna put you all in danger

PLEASE let sky miserably wail 'YOU KILLED MY FATHER' please god let it happen PLEASE

damn ok i actually REALLY like skys reaction here. unironically well written, very believable. even a stopped brain has good ideas twice an episode i suppose

love that musa only gets dignified with the slightest sliver of backstory in this, the final episode

STILL only HALFWAY THROUGH THE EPISODE. THIS IS SICK TIME DILATION FUCKERY

flora isnt supposed to be the loose canon of the winx for fucks sake

ok but WHAT ARE THE BURNED ONES. WHERE ARE THEY FROM. WHY DO THEY CARE ABOUT BLOOM. EVEN SHE HASNT ASKED YET! ARENT YOU CURIOUS ISNT ANYBODY CURIOUS

bloom: yeah rosalind unleashed the burned ones to attack us all but i totally trust that she told me the truth about how to stop them

blooms wings look FUCKING STUPID those arent even wings theyre just random red blobs with a mesh pattern

i guess im glad we actually GOT wings but my god is this a disappointment as wings go

also @ everyone in the tag calling this a 'transformation': are we watching the same fucking show lol. having fire swirl around you isnt a transformation. TRANSFORMING. is what makes it a transformation. absolutely nothing changes about her except having a couple blowtorches on her back

CANT STRESS ENOUGH THAT BLOOM KEEPS HEARING PEOPLE ADMIT TO MURDER AND RESPONDING WITH 'OH it was just MURDER lol thank god'

'bloom transformed' nO SHE DIDNT THAT WASNT A TRANSFORMATION OH MY GOD

ok but why WOULDNT rosalind reveal exculpatory information when it benefited her lol. why are you idiots believing her. why are you accepting that as a justification

'ive been a brat' OH SO YOU ADMIT IT

'can we hug' very normal request bloom especially considering the circumstances /s

my mom would flip her lid if i invited four friends over w/o asking in advance and then put her on the spot abt whether they can stay the night, and thats WITHOUT the added context that BLOOMS MOM THINKS THESE ARE HER SCHOOL FRIENDS FROM S W I T Z E R L A N D AND THAT THEY WOULDVE HAD TO FLY ACROSS THE OCEAN TO GET THERE

this bloom family montage is 1: unearned (i remember the door, assholes) and 2: TOO long and cheesy

i love that stellas mom still hasnt admitted shes missing or come looking for her lol. the HEIR to the THRONE has been MISSING for WEEKS and thats just Okay

lmao what the fuck. how is andreas wearing the same clothes as 16 years ago. anybody care to explain what the goddamn hell is going on here

dragonflame namedrop huh? interesting

LOL EVERYONES JUST ACCEPTING ROSALIND BACK WITHOUT QUESTION? SHE DISAPPEARED AND WAS PRESUMED DEAD FOR 16 YEARS

HOW STUPID ARE THE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD

THE KING OF ERAKLYON. ABANDONED HIS SON. TO RAISE BEATRIX

WHAT IN THE GODDAMN HELL

omg she just fucking killed her

absolutely metal

ah HERE are the hideous outfits from the promo image. hate

final thoughts: this show is dumb

[pastafarms]

I was tagged by @anarrowthroughtimesideblog (thank you for the tag!! ^w^ it was really unexpected bc hhh im so inactive here so this made me rly happy :D)

Rules: Tag 9 people you’d like to know better or catch up to!

Last song: Kara kara kara by Kikuo!

Last movie: Hmm,,, tenet? cool concept but i wasnt fully engaged :(( It reminded me of zero escape tho, which i loveeeeeeeeeee so much!!!

Currently watching: Ensemble stars (dubbed JSHGJSHG) so I can multitask while watching hehe :D

Currently reading: Red, White and Royal blue-- Im trying to get back into reading but it’s really hard picking up genres I don’t usually read so. Sticking to my comfort zone of lgbtq+ romance i guess?

Current project: to Keep up with animation homework, work and get some fanart out when I feel like it ^^ i was trying to animate one moment from my week each week but like,,, im already animating for class and it becomes too much. Need to rest my wrist lol. Im also trying to get back into video editing! so yeah!!! 

Current mood: I’m eating lunch and missing being part of online communities (i took a break and deactivated some accs bc it got too much but I do miss it as well >_<)

Current wish: To participate online more with less anxiety, I stopped talking about things on the internet bc;;; scary lol;; it helped me get closer to irl friends but i really need both forms of interaction i guess. I also hope I get back into playing gw2 bc I realllllly miss the way it inspired me but as a player I felt really stuck (ive also been taking a break from gw2! whoops, forgot to mention that)

Currently learning: Animation! its funn :^) also trying to take better care of my wrist bc it gets sore a lot. And trying to be less self conscious about sharing online + sharing pictures of myself

Something that makes you proud: That I’m able to disconnect from the internet and feel ok, I’m feeling more fulfilled in some friendships and with family, and that im just trying to keep my head up honestly lol. Also exercising without guilting myself!! Im doing great @ being myself haha :^)

Tagging: @the-mystic-dragon , @myukuw , @zvezdacito 

and anyone else who wants to do it!!​ 

[lnarizakis]

— sam’s match-ups masterlist

hi! if you sent in a match-up ask, you can find ‘em all here! if you sent off anon, i have just tagged you and added the link to the post. if you sent as anon/anon with identifying emoji, i included your description along with the link. this post will be constantly updated as i continue to post my match-ups! thank you and i hope you all enjoy your match-ups!!

— @hqprotectionsquad . . .

— anon . . . ❝ could i get a matchup🥺 with 2 boys~ i'm 4'9, i'm really tiny and i've been told i have really nice hair hehe personality wise i've been told i'm really gentle and calming, i had a teacher that said my voice is "serene" and "soothing" >__< i'm the mom friend of the group🥰 i'm quite the introvert, i enjoy just staying home with some takeout, studying quietly or playing acnh underneath all my blankets.. i'm quite fond of hugs and cuddling and forehead kisses too though😚😚💞💞💞 ❞

— anon . . . ❝ could i request for a matchup?🥺 i'm about 5'3, my friends always say i'm the perfect height to hug 🤗 i have long hair till my waist that i dyed a rose-gold colour, i like wearing green or grey contacts because i like the way they make my eyes look. i have a resting b!tch face though...i'm not very approachable because of it😭 i've been playing netball for about 6 years now and i'm quiet irl i guess, but off the court and when i'm comfy, i'm quite the goodball🤙🏻🤙🏻 ❞

— anon . . . ❝ grats for 500! I'd like to request a matchup w 3 ppl pls! Im female, 5'2, i LOVE volleyball! i play wing spiker but i used to play setter, i loved setting for my besties in hs after training. I like to work out, read books & study. i clean my room every morning cos i like neat things, my closet's organized. i have dark brown eyes and thick thighs, proud of em! i also dance, im flexible, and im taking journalism. i wanna play pro vb in the future but tbh 158.5cm's too short, but im not giving up! ❞

— ⭐️ 🌸 anon . . . ❝ Hey hey! If ur still doing the matchup event i would love one!! Im a short gal with wavy dark hair and green eyes. I wear makeup p often esp red eyeshadow and black winged eyeliner (bc im an egirl until i DIE). Speaking of egirl i dress in black and with a chain most of the time but i also randomly flip into floral soft girl hours?? As for personality im really energetic once im comfortable and i love people who can match that energy, esp bc i get anxious rlly easily so i need someone . . . who will help keep me calm and happy when my drive for success gets a lil out if hand lmao. I’m also v combative towards ppl who i think are disrespectful! I love classic novels and watching foreign movies, but I also LOVE sports and get rlly hype abt them. I also LOVE music esp metal but i can and WILL vibe to literally anything esp if its during a workout (bc i live at the gym and someone spotting my squats is so romantic 2 me 🥺). A match w/ 2 boys would be sick, tysm in advance! ❞

— anon . . . ❝ Im medium height with long brown hair and sharp features. I like drawing, reading, cooking. I’m rather chill and level-headed, i’m usually the one to fix objects and solve problems, I avoid drama. I’m compassionate and caring but sometimes indifferent. I like mountains, art galleries, concerts, cello and graphic design. I’m adaptable and open to learning new things but I don’t like changing my routine too much. + 1 male character. ty for this and congrats on 500 followers!!! you deserve it ❞

—anon . . . ❝ hihi!!!! congrats on 500!! i lov ur content sm.. akfjag im asking for a two chara match up!!! im 5'3 and i have pink hair,, i switch between so many hobbies LOL i play volleyball and softball,, and i love singing and painting!! i have a really cottagecore aesthetic and i love baking things for people!!!!! im really energetic and v bratty over text but i get flustered so easily in person,, i hope youre having a good day//night !!!!!! ty for ur fics ❞

— 🐧 anon . . . ❝ match up please!!🥺 2 characters n no gender preference!! im a tall (around 184cm) kinda chubby girl w/ shoulder length brown hair, hazel eyes, pale skin w/ a lot of moles n i wear glasses! im p shy n it takes me a while to open up. but when i do i am a completely dif person,, making friends is hard but the ones i do have i love more than anything! when im w/ them im cheerful, talk a lot n goof around. otherwise i look p intimidating n serious cause i have a rbf n barely talk,, . . . im the mom friend, an optimist, a dreamer n a procrastinator. im p hard to piss off but when im angry i can get scary 😳 im sensitive n cry a lot, currently im working on being more confident! i love animals n flowers!! cause im not the best with words i use lil gifts n touches to express my love! my hobby is drawing! ive been doing it my whole life n im rlly proud of it!! congrats on 500 followers love❤ ❞

— @raevaioli . . .

— 🦆 anon . . . ❝ Happy 500 bubs! You def deserve it :)! I was wondering if I could get a #1 male matchup? Looks: 5’1 petite fem w/ small chest/tiny waist. Thick/medium brown hair and eyes. I’m a cancer with ENTP type! I’m a very affectionate person to my loved ones. I’m very stubborn, sensitive (but I try to hide it), ambitious, witty and very talkative! I like to tease my friends, watch Netflix and try new baking things! Although I show my love through actions, I’m fine with getting love back in any way . . . Also I like baths! (It’s random but why not 😌) I wish you a good day! ❞

— anon . . . ❝ Hey! Can I get a matchup? (#1)I’m a Leo and a ISFJ chick! I have medium brown hair and big eyes w/ glasses. I have a petite body with a small waist and chest. I’m really nice to people but very awkward (I’ll laugh at the floor) and when annoyed. I’m much more open to others like my best friend,I feel at home with her :,) .My hobbies include watching greys anatomy, shopping for clothes, and calling my friends. I would want my partner to be a lil more extroverted than me. Happy 500 😊 ❞

— anon . . . ❝ hi! Can I get a matchup? I’m 5’2 straight girl w/ long brown wavy hair and big brown eyes. I’m thick in all the right places🥴 plus I have a curvy body. My star sign is Pisces and I’m a ISFP. I’m more introverted than extroverted. I dress like Hobo type of way, but i always wear AF1s and I NEVER crease them. In my spare time I draw,listen to raps (mostly by Tupac) and oldies, learn raps, and hang out wit friends. I also have a bunch of piercings on my ears and one on my nose. ty CONGRATS ON 500+ ❞

— anon . . . ❝ CONGRATULATIONS ON 500 WHOOP WHOOP❣️🥺, can i please have a matchup doe! so happy to celebrate this with you❤️ i’m a female, straight, 5’4 and a half, dark skin with medium black curly hair, chubby cheeks and always smiling, i love being outside just experiencing life or trying new drinks at restaurants!! i also enjoy staying home to watch tons of anime & movies or dates to the museum or theme park, spring is my favorite season and orange is my favorite color, i’m so hyper and loving, thank you! ❞

— 🐾 anon . . . ❝ Twice the charm I suppose :) I’m a 5’1 girl with long wavy brown hair. I have a lot of piercings and I tend to wear a lot of jewelry. I wear two knee braces due to a connective tissue disorder. I’m bisexual, so either way works for me owo. I’m an INFJ and a type 4. I’m told that I’m pretty easygoing but I get angry real quick when someone I love is threatened. I’m very empathetic and I’m the mom friend of the group 🐾 . . . Fun fact, don’t leave me alone in public for more than two seconds or else random strangers come up to me asking for advice. This has happened way too many times now don’t ask me why lmaooo. I’ve been playing soccer for eleven years now. I was the captain of a coed college-age division team for two years. I play left defense and goalkeeper. 🐾 . . . I go hiking a lot, I love cliff diving, and I’m an archer. I am also a painter and a writer. My dream job is to become a book editor, but I want to eventually live off my books. I tend to be pretty clingy when it comes to people. I randomly need a lot of attention and force my friends to cuddle. They like rejecting me 😔. Sorry that this was so long aha. Ily and have a good day 💕🐾 ❞

thanks for sending in an ask ! didn’t see yours? please let me know !

[daniallricciardo]

fifty questions you’ve never been asked

I was tagged by @toenialls (always got my back w the tags, thanks boo!!!) 

1. what is the colour of your hairbrush? pink

2. a food you never eat? i should get hate for this but I don’t really eat fruit, i had like a bad experience w a glass of apple juice when I was a kid and i literally have a mental block and find it really disgusting.

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? too cold

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? Watching Get Out (again lol)

5. what is your favourite candy bar? does reese’s PB cups count? cause if so its those

6. have you ever been to a professional sports event? ya! one of my favorite things to do actually

7. what is the last thing you said out loud? because im mad i have to write this paper!

8. what is your favourite ice cream? mint oreo

9. what was the last thing you had to drink? water

10. do you like your wallet? its fine but I keep way too many old gift cards and other stuff i don’t use in it so its always too thick

11. what was the last thing you ate? I just finished a sushi takeout dinner actually from our favorite small sushi place near us 

12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend? nope but i have been online shopping too much during quarantine :(

13. the last sporting event you watched? wow idk... its been so long because of everything being cancelled... It was probably a Bruins hockey game (my baes)

14. what is your favourite flavour of popcorn? I really just like classic butter and salt

15. who is the last person you sent a text message to? @angelikaosiniak 🥰

16. ever go camping? ya im not like a camper but ive done it... last time I did it was actually on Easter Island which was absolutely amazing

17. do you take vitamins? HA no

18. do you go to church every sunday? no i dont believe in anything

19. do you have a tan? nah man i am extremely pale... but i do have a tan line on my stomach from when i literally FRIED myself to death last november... such bad decisioons

20. do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? chinese 4sure

21. do you drink your soda with a straw? ya if its a fountain drink, with a straw for sure

22. what colour socks do you usually wear? I have literally a full rainbow of sock colors but i guess my most common would be dark gray

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit? hahahhha yes... especially on the highway whoops

24. what terrifies you? never finding love

25. look to your left, what do you see? my bedroom mirror

26. what chore do you hate? folding laundry oh my lord

27. what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? hahaha idk... crikey?

28. what’s your favourite soda? mmmmm diet coke (way better than regular coke)

29. do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? i actually dont eat a lot of fast food but i guess drive through?

30. who’s the last person you talked to? my dad

31. favourite cut of beef? hmmmm i guess a filet

32. last song you listened to? everything i wanted - billie eilish

33. last book you read? I mean i have read every fic on earth recently but the last book i finished was The Testaments by Margaret Atwood

34. favorite day of the week? Friday

35. can you say the alphabet backwards? i just tried it and it wasnt fast but i think i did it so fun

36. how do you like your coffee? mostly just a splash of soymilk

37. favourite pair of shoes? my white adidas sneakers

38. at what time do you normally go to bed? 12am-2am

39. at what time do you normally get up? 9-11 am usually, at school usually between 8 and 9:30 tho.

40. what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets

41. how many blankets are on your bed? 2 + my weighted blanket

42. describe your kitchen plates? at school mine are a cool painted blue at home they are pretty plain white

43. do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? tequila 😍

44. do you play cards? um... i guess? its not like a hobby but I do like to play

45. what colour is your car? red

46. can you change a tire? i guess technically i could

47. what is your favourite state/province? i love where im from (MA) but i just need it to be dropped into Arizona-like weather.  I love Arizona but couldnt live there for politics reasons lol

48. favourite job you’ve ever had? i guess i worked in a retail store for a summer (it wasnt fun but i got to make a huge set of friends which made it worth it)

49. how did you get your biggest scar? oooh this is a fun one!! When i was 10 I Fell ice skating and someone ran over my pinky finger!!! It didnt cut off but to this day I can’t bend it.  

50. what did you do today that made someone else happy? I did the dishes so my mom could focus on the movie we were watching!

This was really fun actually, a good time filler too lol.  I will tag @angelikaosiniak @amystiago @spellniall @b99peraltiago @cheddar-the-dog @vic-kovac @fourdrinkjake @jimmysjabs @jakesorangesoda @kamekamelea if you’re interested i would love to read about y’all!!

[rayonfrozenwings]

I was tagged by @rosecailoway, @photofeesh  @rowaelinsmut and @theyretheirthere thank you my lovely babes. I almost forgot. but I got there like 10hours later. >.< lol

last?

drink: Water phone call: mother in law text message: Husband song you listened to: you spin me right round baby right round - on a movie - the wedding singer... cant say who sings it.  time you cried: dont know

ever?

dated someone twice: Yes kissed someone and regretted it: Yes been cheated on: kinda lost someone special: Yes gotten drunk and thrown up: oh yes fave colors? Blue, pink, white, black

in the last year have you?

made new friends: Yes fallen out of love: No laughed until you cried: yes - i think, I blame voice chats.  found out someone was talking about you: no - but they prob are... lol that sounds vain, but i mean, it would be silly to think people arent if i talk about others? ya know? even in passing. like oh the funniest thing happened, x said bla bla. and then that is... i dunno if im meant to interpret this a different way - probably... *shrug* met someone who changed you: dont know. probably. cant think of anyone in particular tho. found out who your friends are: *shrug* found that out a while ago... kissed someone on your Facebook friends list: Yes

general

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all bar 3 I think. do you have any pets: a black labrador cross do you want to change your name: nah what did you do for your last birthday: i think i was taken out to brunch, but I cant remember... so long ago... lol 3 months was ages ago hahahaha. what time did you wake up today: woke-7 got out of bed -9 what were you doing last night at midnight: ;) - nah jk sleeping haha what is something you can’t wait for:  that freaken book. Koa what are you listening to right now: the wedding singer on in the background  have you ever talked to a person named tom: probably *shrug* something that gets on your nerves: slow walkers. hearing my name for the hundredth time in an hour.... *rolls eyes* most visited website: Tumblr, discord, gmail hair colour: dark brown with purple tones. long or short hair: its long atm. but dont have a preference what do you like about yourself: i like my brain/personality most days, my shoulders, my boobs, my height...  want any piercings: not at this stage  blood type: O+ nicknames: nope.  relationship status: Married with kids. lol zodiac sign: Gemini pronouns: She/her. fave tv show: I dunno.... um.... I’m enjoying Home and Away at the moment. >.< tattoos: 0 right or left handed: right ever had surgery: yup piercings: yup - just ears sports: i used to play netball and loved it so much, but my knees are fucked = no jumping and twisting, which means I cant really defend... so.... its not happening. vacation: ... my next one?..... maybe a trip to see my parents for christmas? I need to organise it tho or it wont happen. um... other than that. no plans. trainers: ? yes? i guess. what is this asking? I have asics because of my huge ass feet.  eating: nothing drinking: nothing... i’m about to watch: the wedding singer, when i finish this, ill pay attention more.... waiting for: bed, i’m sleepy, but enjoying time without kids.  want: So many things…  get married: tick.  career: if anyone has any ideas let me know... currently mum. hugs or kisses: both. why not both? lips or eyes: again. both. why not both? shorter or taller: taller than me. so when i get a hug from behind the arms are like coming around me in a cocoon. its so nice. older or younger: I am older? all areas. lol nice arms or stomach: Arms hookup or relationship: *shrugs* I dont have anything to judge it on - relationship is good, but never had a hookup so couldnt say which was better.  troublemaker or hesitant: “Depends on the scenario” - agree Kathleen me too, so using your words.

have you ever?

kissed a stranger: Yes drank hard liquor: Yes lost glasses: Nope turned someone down: Yep sex on the first date: No broken someone’s heart: Yes had your heart broken: No been arrested: No cried when someone died: Yes fallen for a friend: Yes

do you believe in

yourself: sometimes depends on the scenario  miracles: sometimes love at first sight: sometimes kiss on the first date: sometimes angels: sometimes lol whoops. guess I should say I flip flop sometimes. 

other?

best friend’s name: Hubby  eye colour: Dark olive green that almost looks brown. fave movie: eh. ive enjoyed thor ragnarok and the wedding singer? lol i cant pick. favourite actor: dont really have one...  favourite food: anything that doesnt kill me - currently its potato chips plain salt flavour.  extrovert or introvert: “It depends who I’m with…”- again im using kathleen’s words favourite flower: Roses. White if I can. favourite hello kitty character? I don’t know any

tagging anyone that wants to do this! and @emcrie @urbisie @verifiefangirl @nephelle-warrior-scribe @beka2305 @bookofmirth @feyrearch @terrasn @morrigan-the-dreamer @slytherclaw713 @lady-katkat

[heshometome]

Get to know me tag

because why not right? I was tagged by the lovely and beautiful  @stay-weird-people <3 Its long so you can read more under the cut if you’re interested

Appearance: I’m 178cm (5′8 i think) I have very short like shaved at the sides and long at the top hair, dyed brown. I have bright af blue eyes and people always ask me if I’m wearing contacts lmao. 

Personality: oh dear here we go. I’m shy but once you get to know me im still shy lol, unless I’m super comfortable with you (im only comfortable with a select few people). I’m known to interrupt people during conversations, but thats due to years of being ignored so I try and get my opinion in as quick as possible, otherwise I’m silent. I’m also really caring too much in my opinion  and I tend to look after others rather than myself because i feel like other people are more important than me ANYWAY I’m also quite sarcastic and once I start laughing at something It’s hard for me to stop :’) I try to be nice too but sometimes in in a bad/sad mood and I snap at like everyone oops so I apologise in advance if I ever do that to you!

Ability: ok but seriously if you ask one of my friends what im best at they’ll instantly say cooking/baking lmao. Lucky I want to be a chef :p. I like to draw/paint but im not like amazing at it 

Hobbies: Well, Cooking, Drawing/painting, reading and the generic watching movies and music and things. 

Experiences: The most interesting things ive experienced are concerts. I’ve never travelled anywhere out of my island but I really want to go to Canada, South Korea (i wonder why), Brazil, and Europe better start saving

My life: oh dear okay well I’m 17, I live with my dad, 2 brothers and 1 sister. Im the oldest sibling. I also have a cat that I love to death. I’m moving out of home next year to start my course to become a chef. I’m not gonna say much more bc its depressing but yeAH

Relationships: lmao whats a relationship. I’m single as can be 

Random Things: umm?? I don’t like butter/margarine on my sandwiches. I hate tomatoes but could literally drink tomato sauce (ketchup) ive done it before.  I have a tendency to force people to like what I like?! I hate the flavours lime and mint. I have a tattoo but I want another one SO BAD. I love horror movies, mainly because I laugh at them, but zombie movies literally terrify me. It’s like something in the back of my head saying, “that could actually happen one day and youll die” and even though I know its not going to happen hopefully, it still freaks me out??! I talk a lot in my tags too so if you read them you can get to know me more I guess?? OH and before I forget! I got the job~

Congrats if you got to the bottom of this mess. It took me way longer to write than it probably should have and now you know really random things about me!! Whoop!! i hope i dont lose too many followers after this rip. 

Ill tag @rainy-ggukmin @rinef @bowiepanda @foxabram (you wanted to see so here) @bangtan-inu @bxngtangoals @chimmyangel @aesthetic-af-bitch @jaeesoon

you guys dont have to do it ofc <3 

[fab912]

I was tagged byyyyyy @blurryfaceimagines! To answer all these questions. Now see, I would have answered them all my phone...but I’m not crazy. So on my laptop it was lolol. Anyways

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag however many people you want

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Coke

2. Phone call: I think my friend RV on discord (I didn’t talk but darn it it was a call lol). If not that then my mom

3. Text message: My friend Kevin

4. Song you listened to: Die Anywhere Else from Night in the Woods

5. Time you cried: Last Tuesday I broke down

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Ive never even dated 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Never kissed anyone either 8. Been cheated on: Can’t be cheated on if I’ve never been involved in anything, eeeeey 9. Lost someone special: Yes/no? I mean it just hurt cause I knew em but I didn’t excessively know em. 10. Been depressed: …ya 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I don’t drink lololol. I’m a pretty boring person

 LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Most blues, green, and a darker red (way to go me lol)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yus! And I’m super thankful for all ya ;w; 16. Fallen out of love: Nah 17. Laughed until you cried: I wanna say yes 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I mean…if it was at work then I usually hear cause I hear all. Usually it’s just them mentioning me or something. If someone was talking bad about me, I would be like “Ouch…what did you want me to really care further?” 19. Met someone who changed you: I would say so, I think it’s mostly been good tho. 20. Found out who your friends are: I guess?? Kinda? I dunno? 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I am a kiss virgin lol Smooch smooch ;3;

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: The majority of em I’d say. 23. Do you have any pets: While they’re not mine because I don’t pay for anything of em…my family has a parakeet, some fishes, and a dog. I just have to feed em sometimes and care for em. 24. Do you want to change your name: Nah, I’m good with it. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I went to work. The exciting world of me working all the time, rip 26. What time did you wake up: Uh….12:43pm….listen I stayed up for late last night. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching hxh with bahare and the others 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Errrr….I dunno…the day all my loans are payed off? The day I get my own room/own space? The day I get a new computer so I can draw/animate? The day I feel motivated and don’t feel like a burden ;w; 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Yesterday night. She works today 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: That I could stop caring so much about what people think about me and that I could make myself happy. The need for validation. Whoops got too deep there lol 31. What are you listening right now: My meme song playlist on Spotify. So right now it’s Renai Circulation playing lol 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: We talking about Myspace Tom? Neighborhood friend Tom? …lol but yes I have, my 5th grade teacher was named Tom. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: The fact that I both wanna draw and not. Too many ideas and yet when I get in front of my paper…I feel I have to draw what I “owe”….whoops 34. Most visited Website: Probably youtube due to the fact it’s what I watch/listen to at work. Then it might be Tumblr (since discord isn’t a website ;w; )

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: Nope 36. Mark/s: Well I have beauty marks on my face, arms, legs, hands, foot? And I have some freckles on my nose. And a birthmark on my stomach. I also think I may have a birthmark on the back of my right leg? 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be something successful…president or doctor. Then it changed to voice actor, and then an animator. And look where I am now….none of those things lol. But I’m happy for my job, it’s in the art field! :3 38. Haircolor: Dark brown (part of the reason I just color my hair black in my drawings, it’s so much easier lol) 39. Long or short hair: Medium? Right now it’s a bit passed my shoulders, but I may get it cut to shoulder length ish soon. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: I don’t know? Like I legit don’t know. I’m like Jumin Han…like I don’t know feelings of love or affection towards others that is not meant to be friendly lol 41. What do you like about yourself: I don’t really know? I like my kindness? I would like to think I’m kind/nice 42. Piercings: My ears 43. Bloodtype: I don’t actually know 44. Nickname: Well teeechnically ‘Jacky’ is a nickname lol. But I guess Fab is a nickname too. That’s about as far as that goes lol 45. Relationship status: Single 46. Zodiac: Virgo 47. Pronouns: She/her 48. Favorite TV Show: Aw jeez….Steven Universe, Rick and Morty, Miraculous….uh…I’m sure there’s more but I’m suddenly drawing a blank 49. Tattoos: Nope! Although my mom has asked why I don’t get the Zelda triforce or Majora’s Mask. I wouldn’t cause I’m a wimp and kinda don’t want a mark, yknow? 50. Right or left hand: Right! 51. Surgery: See this is the weird thing…cause I think my mom mentioned I may have gotten a small surgery when I was suuuuper little? But I can’t remember the story? 52. Hair dyed in different color: Nope! Once a long time ago I wanted to die my hair a really dark blue. So my hair would shine blue all cool. But then I was like “nah I like my hair I guess” 53. Sport: AhahahaHAHAHAHAHA that would mean exercise. 55. Vacation: Yes plz. I mean…no yeah yes plz. I know it’s asking for a place but I would happy with a few days off of work even if I just stayed home 56. Pair of trainers: Am I that old that I don’t know that word? I can tell ya I only own like 3 pairs of shoes: my Nintendo hightops, a pair of black boots for colder weather, and some brown boot kinda things that are Converse (those are my 707 cosplay shoes, but I wear em sometimes with the pants I used for my Seven cosplay)

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: A peach 58. Drinking: Nothing actually 59. I’m about to: Probably force myself to draw or sketch some of these things gosh darn it 61. Waiting for: My sisters to get back from the store so we can make pasta cause I’m hungry 62. Want: A break (ok ok enough with the breaks and vacations from work lol). I dunno…food? To draw? To talk to people? All of the above!   63. Get married: I dunno. 64. Career: Well the job I have no is a career job I believe. Like I got a job in the industry right after I graduated. So I’m good being in this field tbh.

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: I am veeeeeery awkward with physical contact. So whenever someone hugs me I just kind of freeze up. And kisses, meeeeeeeeeeh? 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes are the window to the soul in my case theyre as black as my soul I mean huh 67. Shorter or taller: Taller, but then again it’s not that hard to find someone taller than me lol 68. Older or younger: I kinda wanna say I prefer people who are closer to my age? As long as they are a bit mature or can be? And by closer to my age I mean like a few years difference in both directions. I feel if they’re closer to my age then we can kinda relate to each other’s problems a bit more 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I don’t care? 71. Sensitive or loud: If they’re a good person I don’t think it should matter? 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I would prefer hesitant but I mean, I can’t control people. So they can be as they are. Like I said, if you’re a good and friendly person then that’s fine by me

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: Noooo 75. Drank hard liquor: I don’t drink at all                                                                         76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I can’t say yeah or no. I usually just misplace em cause I don’t need to wear em. 77. Turned someone down: …yeah…in 2015 I was apparently a magnet? Or something? Cause 3 people told me they liked me in that year and one had asked me out. I turned em all down. They are all good people too but I just didn’t feel it. I felt bad for saying no to all of em, even tho it was super flattering 78. Sex on the first date: Dude, y’all would be lucky to even get a hug on the first date tbh 79. Broken someone’s heart: I mean going back to (77)…I don’t know if I did? I don’t know how much those people actually liked me? 80. Had your heart broken: No 81. Been arrested: Cops can’t catch me lololol 82. Cried when someone died: Yup 83. Fallen for a friend: I don’t know? I think it might infatuation? But I really don’t know? I’m seriously like the beginning of the Jumin Han route, like what are these feelings

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: magic? In a young girls heart lololol 84. Yourself: Sometimes 85. Miracles: Don’t see why not 86. Love at first sight: Eeeeh? 87. Santa Claus: The big red guy? Don’t think so people the easter bunny tho 88. Kiss on the first date: Listen, y’all can do what you want. I will give you a firm handshake or a pat on the shoulder/arm on the first date. If I like ya enough, you may even get a hug

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: Aaaaaaaaah…I don’t think I have no? I have friends who are a bit higher on my list but I don’t think I have a best friend? 91. Eyecolor: Super dark brown/almost black like my soul 92. Favorite movie: See I don’t know. But I do love Yellow Submarine a lot!

---

As for who I’m tagging? These are a lot. So if any of my mutuals wanna do it so I can learn more about you? If not that’s cool too! ^^

[every-day-outdoors]

1-4 March 2019

Holy hell - what a weekend!! Redemption!! We had been debating what we wanted to do for spring break for weeks, and weather was not playing in our favor. But at the last minute, Bri suggested rafting the Salt River near Globe. It was where they went a few weeks ago (the one I couldn’t get on) and we were told we could use the rafts for a personal trip!

So Bri, Daniel, Clif, Patrick, and myself bought permits and robbed food from OA. The best trips are the ones that are pulled together at the last minute, of course.

Come Friday, we skipped our classes and pulled gear together, incredibly excited for the whitewater gar that awaited us. We left in the early afternoon, in our separate cars. Also, Jill tagged along at the last minute! We were stoked to have her! Patrick and I, Bri and Dan, and Clif and Jill a few hours behind. Great music and even better conversations for the ride.

The four of us got to our put in camp (at the junction of the Salt and US Hwy 60), and Pat and Dan left to go set shuttle while Bri and I set up what we could, and played cards waiting for Clif and Jill to arrive with the rest of the gear. Once they did, we set up the rafts and got the gear together. By the time Pat and Dan got back, we were almost completely done. So, naturally, beers were cracked, and cards were played for hours and hours into the night. The best games were Asshole and Bullshit. It was great to tell Clif to drink for a dumb pun, or to get Pat back from a previous round, or when we would all gang up on someone only for it to backfire in the next round when they became the president and made us all drink relentlessly. Eventually, we all went to bed, sides aching from laughter, stumbling over ourselves, and looking up at the stars from our sleeping bags.

Next morning, we got up easy, had an oatmeal coffee breakfast, and brought our gear down to the put in on the Salt. We had 2 oars boats and Daniel’s shredder (El Torrito!!) Right away, I was on the oars with Clif behind me, coaching me through it. I had about 3 minutes to practice with the oars before we were immediately in a rapid. Boy howdy. That was a time. I barely got us through it. My adrenaline was pumping and I was scared. Made it though. I stayed on the oars and was Very Slowly getting the hang of the oars. But man, it was hard.

I had one really sad thought while going down the river. “Can I do this? Can I raft this summer? Am I gonna have to go back to camp?” It was a very quick, short, and depressing thought. In that moment, I was exhausted and incredibly frustrated. I would do one thing, expecting something, and getting the complete opposite. I could not get the hang of it. I didn’t understand the pointing towards the danger then pulling away. I didn’t get the difference between pushing and pulling and its effect on the boat. I could get the boat bow on in a rapid. I was just so fuckin disheartened. And I had that thought. Honestly, I’m ashamed that I did. Why did I get so put down so quickly? I immediately recognized this and thought about it a bit longer - this was my second time rafting. why should I expect myself to be good at this right away? No one is! I cannot get so discouraged so easily! - So after that I reflected within myself and felt renewed. Then I started to get the hang of it. I would talk thought literally everything I was doing. I was talking through and saying out loud everything going through my head, and if I was wrong Clif would gently correct me. As I headed into the rapids, things were going well and I was getting it. It felt amazing. When things got too spicy, I could ask Clif for beta, or if I felt bad about something, I could call his name and he would slide down into the chair and navigate. One time during a rapid I fell doing into the boat, out of the seat, and I head Clif, like the voice of god, calmly say from behind me, “back up into the seat.” The motivation and reminder I needed lol! Throughout day 1, I was able to work through mostly Class II and a couple Class III rapids. We had lunch at a sandy eddy, drank a few beers, and relaxed. It started drizzling but it was kinda whatever - we were wet anyway!

Afterwards, we headed onto the water again, towards the next rapid, The Ledges (III-IV). I was feeling nervous as I oared towards the series of big holes. Clif reminded me from behind, “You need to take this bow on. Punch through each hole.” I understood, and pushed toward the growing sound of rushing and crashing water.  We met the first hole, and I punched through, taking them on one by one. But then the last hole, the big fucking mama. I pushed the oars, attempting to push through the waves, getting tired. At the last second, I realized I push just a hair too hard with my right oar. This tilted us just enough so we weren’t bow on. And we didn’t punch through. The next 10 seconds were some of the scariest I’ve felt in a while: I felt our gear boat get sucked backwards, water rushing in the back. I tried to pull back into my seat, and the oar keeper broke. At that moment, I knew we were getting fucked. I cried out, “clif HELP!” But Clif was hanging out the back, having been bucked off. I pushed and pushed, filling with dread, afraid of losing the boat or swimming. Clif scrambled into the seat, “START BAILING!” I grab the bucket, and Clif (a goddamn master of the water, I’m pretty sure he’s the son of Poseidon) starts working us out of danger. We made it out, and oared away.

I was SHAKEN. My heart was racing and I just had to collect myself and sit behind Clif, letting him paddle for a bit. After about 20 min of debriefing, learning from mistakes, and calming down, I got back on the oars. The rest of the day, I continued on, working through what I could and taking that experience and putting it towards every following rapid.

Finally, at the end of the day, a little bit past Gleason Flats, we got to camp. It was a beautiful, fairy-like, grassy field. Once we got into warm clothes, we built a fire, made some margaritas, and made camp calzones over the stove. After plenty of drinks, story telling, and laughter, we fell asleep.

Day 2! Today, we played musical boats. I was on El Torrito with Dan, Pat and Bri were on the small oar boat, and Clif and Jill were on the big oars. We would be taking on some big class rapids today. A bunch of Class IV and Class III stuff. After a pancake breakfast we packed up and geared up the boats. Not gonna lie, I was nervous at the prospect of taking on Class IVs in the shredder. We would be way more exposed and susceptible to the waves. More chance of swimming, which is not ideal for IVs. We would scout each one, but it was still intimidating. Nevertheless, we were in it, and headed towards Eye of the Needle (III-IV). Bring it on. And boy did we. We made it through, navigating the massive ledge and even bigger hole. We punched through on the nimble torrito and were stoooked. My nervousness dissipated as we headed towards rapid after rapid, until we got to the next IV: Black Rock.

At this point, we got out and scouted it. Dan and I arrived a couple minutes after the others, and we passed their two oars boats tied up to get to ours. I started scrambling towards the lookout, when I head Pat and Bri shouting down to Dan and I frantically. I had no idea what was going on, until I looked over my shoulder and saw a boat. AN OAR BOAT. CLIFS GEAR BOAT. It had somehow loosed from its bowline, and was headed towards the Class IV. We had an unintentional ghost boat. I ran up to the lookout to watch the expected carnage. I realized that Clif was gone - he had immediately scrambled down the rock face, towards the rapid, incredibly fast. Bri, Dan, Pat, Jill, and I all watched as the boat floated towards the rock, sideways (where Clif had just remarked, “dear god don’t hit it sideways or you’re done.”). “It’s fucked.” But at the last possible second, by some act of the gods, the boat teed up! It hit the rapid straight on! Made it through! And before we knew it, we saw Clif jumping off a cliff (heheh) into the water, and he swam into the boat, and eddied it. We all whooped and hollered! No lost boat today!! Well, now it was our turn. My heart was racing as we got into the boat, Dan and I fist bumped, and we had our line picked out. And we ran it. Perfectly! I was getting the hang of the shredder now. We continued on through a few IIs and IIIs over the next few hours, enjoying ourselves. The Maze (IV) ran next, and again, Daniel and I nailed it. We only had 2 more IVs left for the trip.

But these last two were the big mamas of the river. Quartzite Falls immediately followed by Corkscrew. We rocked up the Quartzite, and sized it up. Dan and I picked a line, knowing that the big fall into a hole and rooster tail was not ideal for our lil boat. I had a pit in my stomach, but we had a plan and we were gonna do it. We were the last ones to send it, as we were the most likely to swim (el torrito can only do so much for us), so the other two boats were waiting at the bottom, before the start of Corkscrew. Dan and I headed into it, albeit not as confident as we would have liked. We started a hair too far right (towards the giant hole), but narrowly missed the hole. We dug our paddles in furiously, trying to pull away from the hole and the rooster tail. My side of the boat got jostled and I slipped into the boat. I quickly got up, but in the mayhem, that movement unbalanced me, and the next wave we hit launched me out of the side of the boat, and like a teeter totter Dan went out the other side. Now we were both swimmers. This was the moment I had been afraid of for so long. As I first went under, there was a moment of “oh shit” but immediately after that, time slowed down, and I went full zen. It felt like an eternity of being underwater, but I was not afraid, I was just ready to surface, whenever that would be. I plugged my nose, recognized that I still had my paddle in hand, and that I was moving towards light and sound. I surfaced! Immediately, I looked around and saw my boat. I swam towards it, and grabbed on. I tried to haul myself up in, but realized that would take too long, and I was quickly approaching Corkscrew. Priority, get out of the current. I saw Dan, “It’s okay, we’re fine.” That calmed me slightly. Apparently, as he swam towards me, I had a look on my face of “absolute determination.” I pulled the boat sideways out of the current, towards the bank above Corkscrew towards a waiting Bri and Patrick. I erupted in a “yeewww!!” of joy, which Bri responded to int he same way. I was full of adrenaline, stoked that I survived my first swim. A Salt River baptism. Clif joined us, and we all had a minute of chattering away about what had just occurred before we refocused on Corkscrew below us. After looking, Clif went ahead with Jill and sent it. Dan and I were next, full of stoke. We absolutely rocked it. It was one of the longest rapids and I could feel myself tiring near the end but we pulled through, ecstatic that we survived a day of Class IVs in the shredder. The next hour was spent paddling downriver, drinking and crushing cans until we got just past Horseshoe Bend and made camp on a hard rock outcropping.

We all tied off the boats, got out of our wet clothes, made a solid fire, and started on dinner. As I was chopping veggies, Dan was cutting up limes. I asked, “ooh are the limes for margaritas?” And Dan enthusiastically responded, “yeah, and the shots you and I are about to take.” And that really set us up for the evening. We all managed to crush several shots each and overall an entire bottle of tequila. It was another solid night spent will full bellies, endless laughter, and the feeling of absolute success as we laid out under the Milky Way and slept well.

The next day was our final day on the river. This day would be short, and easy peasy. Unfortunately, we had gone through all of our beer. But fortunately, we still had knockoff Bailey’s to throw in our coffee. After the easy morning, we loaded up for the last time, again playing musical boats. This time, it was Dan and Bri in the shredder, Clif and Jill in the big oar boat, and Patrick and I in the smaller oar boat. Patrick and I switched off oaring every once in a while, taking on Class IIs as we talked and talked among other things. I was super happy to be back on the oars and to have Patrick being positive and supportive as I worked through the rapids. Hooray for confidence on oars! After a few hours of a slow float down river, I was oaring us towards our pullout. Here, it is crucial to not miss the pullout because the is no other option afterward expect for a waterfall (to definitely NOT go over!). As we pulled up, I would feel the current working against what I wanted. Everyone was on shore, calling out to Patrick and I in support and cheers. And I absolutely NAILED IT. I finessed the boat exactly where I wanted it to go, and was gassed the fuck up after I did so. Dan remarked that no one would be able to guess it was only my second river trip ever, I did so well. One of the greatest compliments ever.

Pat, Dan, and Clif left Jill, Bri, and me to unrig and breakdown gear while they left to get our shuttle cars. Jill was pretty much there for moral support as Bri and I cranked it out, working hard and eating spoonfuls of leftover spaghetti out of the pot every so often. But she did surprise us with a could minis of Tito’s! So Bri and I had margaritas to help us out! After about 3 hours of hard work, the boys came back, and with beer! I played my throwback playlist over a speaker and we all jammed out and destroyed the entire 18 pack in about 30 minutes. Bri and I went hard (lol we weren’t the ones driving) and were sufficiently feelin it by the time we loaded up in the cars to go to Judy’s, a lil diner in Globe.

We were all so slap happy and loving life that that old rundown diner seemed like the most perfect place in the world. Our laughter could be heard probably from down the street. At the table, before our food came out, we all went through mountain, valley, flower as a reflection of the weekend and all we accomplished. At the end of it all, we felt incredibly happy to be with one another, and an air of content surrounded us. We paid our bills, and started the drive back home.

After a super great drive home (*ahem*), we got to OA and worked as a team to get the gear squared away. We finished up, did a shoutout circle (Pat, Bri, Dan, and I did) and went our separate ways home, still feeling the rocking of the boats as we slept.

Highlights and good things: New hozier music came out for the car ride up! Drunken card games on night one. “drinkassholedrinkassholedrinkasshole!!!” Puns for dayssss. Three 30-racks and a bottle of tequila! Getting the hang of oars on day 1. Star tripping!! Bringing bocce balls and not actually playing it ever. Clif pulling a Jack Sparrow run and scramble to get his boat. “This looks questionable to me!” “This is sub-optimal!”. PBR at the pullout. At Judy’s, twerking in the bathroom, drunk as shit with Bri. Clif: “I hope that my kids are like you guys someday.”

Learning oars. Everything I could about them. Pulling is stronger than pushing, taking things at an angle, pulling away from danger, spin to win, bow on, punch through, its a game of chess so plan 3 moves ahead, don’t get stuck in the present or the past, focus on what’s coming.

I can guide this summer. I am more than capable, and I am strong enough to face the challenges and amazing times this summer will bring.

[ixhor]

All of them

all the ones not on this list are already answered!!!

31: Who was your last call/text message from?my friend brendan32: Are you mad at anyone?-this one fucking bitch 33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?-yea it was my first kiss i was in sixth grade and she was in eighth grade lol34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?-im not gonna say that cos she would be as old as me and im only a couple months older than her!!! keepin my age a secret, sorry boys35: How many more days until your birthday?-how many days till december36: Do you have any summer plans yet?-its only a month into school stop37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?-ye!!38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?-yea but its stuff ive never told anyone, not even bea39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?-yea40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?-no 41: Do you think age matters in relationships?-uhh if the relationship is between like a 15 y/o and a 20 y/o it matters, but if its like between a 20 y/o and a 21 y/o then it doesnt matter. all im saying is it matters if its legal or not because if its not then get the fuck out of that relationship???????42: Are you available?-not looking for another partner sorry boys43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?-what44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?-probably a medusa piercing!!45: Do you believe exes can be friends?-sure i guess46: Do you regret anything?-lots of things47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?-fuck i left my gatorade in the freezer too long48: Did you ever lose a best friend?-yea49: Was your last kiss a mistake?-nah50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?-because hes already my bf51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?-nope cos i dont cry in front of people52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?-nah53: What was the last thing you ate?-chicken nuggets 54: Did you get any compliments today?-my friend said “thanks for being so understanding” so does that count55: Where are you going on your next vacation?-im going on vacation???56: Do you own anything from other countries?-i have a necklace my aunt kay gave me and its from when she went to europe57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?-girls58: Where have you lived most of your life?-florida59: When was the last time you took a long drive?-like three months ago60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?-no61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?-no62: Who do you text the most?-probably The Gay Squad™ aka this mlm chat im in 64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?-bc as far as i know their exes are asshats65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?-i did not66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?-yea by like a couple months67: Do you curse around your parents?-NO GOD NO DO YOU THINK I WANT A FREE CARD TO GET MY ASS WHOOPED68: Are you happy with where you live?-no tbh,,my apartment is kinda small69: Picture of yourself?-check the cassius.pic tag70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?-im polyamorous 71: Have you ever been dumped?-no 72: What do you most like about making out?-the kissing part73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?-yuh74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?-me75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?-idk uhhh probably their thighs?? i like thighs76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?-i forgot77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?-no78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?-no79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?-when people compliment me!!!80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?-probably not?? they have responsibilities and an actual human to take care of81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?-yea82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?-no i only tell like my close group of friends83: Do you miss your last sweetie?-if you mean my last partner, then no84: Last time you slow danced with someone?-ive never slow danced before85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?-wym an online relationship?? then yea86: How can I win your heart?-if u go out of ur way to try and make me happy or you bring me coffee, my heart is unlocked87: What is your astrological sign?-sagittarius sun, libra moon88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?-chillin….on tumblr…the usual89: Do you cook?-yeeeeeee90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?-no why would i do that92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?-IM POLYAMOROUS GODDAMMIT93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?-nice thighs or nice hair 94: Name four things that you wish you had!-money, a binder, some more crystals, some more jeans95: Are you a player?-no??96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?-no97: Are you a tease?-idk you tell me98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?-uhh no not yet99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?-i currently am100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?-we all know the obvious answer101: Hugs or Kisses?-kiss kiss kiss!!!!!102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?-sometimes but i do end up getting over that fear sometimes103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?-hair104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?-yea105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?-hmmm106: Do you flirt a lot?-yea107: Your last kiss?-with my ex108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?-no?? i dont kiss a lot of ppl109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?-no which is why AYDEN NEEDS TO COME TO FLORIDA110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?-AYDEN111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?-probably evelyn if we hang out this weekend112: Does someone like you currently?-probably not113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?-yea114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?-serious relationships are cool115: Ever made out with just a friend?-yea116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?-i dont think ive ever been happier than now cos im in a relationship